Premier Veterinary Group
Grief Resources
Understanding Grief
Grief is our emotional reaction to loss, and it is especially profound when there is a strong attachment or affection present, such as with a pet. During grief, many difficult and unexpected emotions may arise, from shock or anger to disbelief, guilt, and profound sadness. The pain of grief can also disrupt your physical health, making it difficult to sleep, eat, or even think straight. In terms of timeliness or depth of grieving, there are no fixed rules to define normal grief.
SUBTYPES OF GRIEF:
Disenfranchised: Also known as hidden grief. Refers to any grief that is often minimized, invalidated, or unacknowledged by social norms, such as pet loss.
Complicated: Strong grief that goes beyond at least six months and has other underlying factors (i.e., other losses during the same time, trauma, etc.). This type of grief can be tough to handle with everyday life and may need the help of a professional.
Re-Grief: It is possible to feel previous losses with new losses; they can appear unexpectedly and intensely. Pet loss, for example, can bring up not only prior pets but also other family losses.
Anticipatory Grief: Also known as pre-loss bereavement, happens when you know you will lose your pet, but it has not yet occurred. You may have some time to prepare such as days, weeks, or even months. Anticipatory grief can include a period of hopefulness when the diagnosis is being effectively managed. This form of grief is not often talked about but commonly experienced.
Social Work Request for Clients
Meet our Social Worker, Taylor St. Onge, MSW, APSW/LSW. If you are a client and are currently in hospital and would like to speak with our social worker, please email Taylor. Her services are free of charge.
Taylor St. Onge
Veterinary Social Worker
MSW, APSW/LSW
Taylor St. Onge
Veterinary Social Worker
MSW, APSW/LSW
Mental Health
Self-care is always an important practice to follow, but perhaps even more imperative during this trying time. Take care of yourself by following good nutrition, practicing a healthy sleep schedule, moving your body, and finding ways to relax that you enjoy. Be kind to yourself during this time. Honor your feelings. Allow sadness and joy to occur at the same time. Reach out to any friends or family that understand your bond and grief. Reach out to your friendly Ethos Veterinary Social Worker to set up a time to talk.
Pet Loss Support Groups
Pet Loss Support Groups provide a safe space for pet lovers to express their feelings and begin working through their loss alongside individuals who have been through a similar experience. They can bring a lot of comfort and can be a great place to find not only the validation that you are not alone in this experience, but also ideas on how to memorialize your beloved pet, as well.
Here are some local virtual pet loss support groups, which you may elect to join.
How to Honor Your Pet After They Pass
Memorialization of a lost loved one is a deeply personal and individual process that can help start healing. It can be seen as a form of catharsis that can aid us in coming to terms with the loss. Further, memorial events in particular can allow for a time and place for friends and family to receive more in-depth support.
Memorial Activities
Turn pet tags into necklaces
Paint your own urn or garden rocks
Plant a tree
Photo books/memory books
Shadow Box
Tattoos or jewelry of your pet
Create a Space
Create a space to honor your pet, to let yourself mourn and heal openly. This can be a garden space where you have buried/spread your pet’s cremains, a quiet place in your home with photos of your pet, or even a small table with your pet’s keepsakes on display.
Caring For Your Pet
Talking to Children About Grief
The death of a pet is often a child’s first experience with death and the grief surrounding it. So, it’s important to be open and honest with children about what has happened. It’s important to talk to them at a level appropriate to their age and level of development. Use simple language, like “She was very sick, and she died”, and avoid using euphemisms like “She went to sleep” to avoid confusion about sleeping and death.
Kids are kids first. They are grievers second. Children love to play, create, and do things with their hands and bodies. Grief doesn’t stop that.
Activities you can do with your children:
Make a collage or scrapbook
Plant a tree or flowers in memory of the pet
Hold a memorial service.
Books for Children:
Dog Heaven by Cynthia Rylant
Cat Heaven by Cynthia Rylant
Being Brave for Bailey by Corey Gut, DVM
The Fall of Freddie the Leaf by Leo Buscaglia
The Tenth Good Thing About Barney by Judith Viorst
My Pet Died: A Coloring Book for Grieving Children by Alan D. Wolfel
Books for Adults:
Preparing for the Loss of Your Pet by Myrna Milani, DVM
Oh, Where Has My Pet Gone? A Pet Loss Memory Book by Sally Sibbitt
Soul Comfort for Cat Lovers: Coping Wisdom for Heart and Soul After the Loss of a Beloved Feline by Liz Eastwood
Pet Loss Meditations by Lorise Weil
When a Family Pet Dies by JoAnn Tuzeo Jarolmen
Good-bye My Friend by Mary and Herb Montgomery
